Another year, another diet restriction

Actually, two. We’re now also dairy and soy free, in addition to being gluten-free vegetarians. We were anticipating this, and part of me wishes the doctor had run all the tests last summer, in 2022, so we could have done it all at once. But maybe it’s better to make these changes in stages. Removing so many things from our diet with the food options here in Mongolia might have been overwhelming.

Devin was feeling better over the summer. We went to the US and did a lot of traveling, visiting family, friends, and colleges. There were definitely times when their knees would buckle if we walked too much. (It was weird how polite people were about it—there were times when Devin would just collapse onto the ground, and the people we were with wouldn’t react at all; it made me wonder how much help Devin’d get if I weren’t there.) They are using knee braces and mobility aids more, and we bought two new canes when we were in Boston (they both fold up pretty small, and one of them is the kind that stands up on its own). They had their crutches for the airports, which helped a lot. Devin definitely doesn’t have the stamina they used to, so we couldn’t do as much as we might have, but we had a good time.

Now we’re back into another school year (Devin’s finishing up their second week of senior year, and I just had my first week of classes). We had two and a half weeks before we got back to work/school to get some things done, and I spent much of the time going through our food supplies, pulling out anything that might contain soy or dairy, and finding alternatives. It turned out to be a lot of our gluten free noodles (including ramen), the gluten-free flour mix from Poland we used to make pizza and bread, and most of our snacks. Of course, no more mac and cheese, which is Devin’s main comfort food. And no more chocolate (even the dark chocolate I can find here contains milk). No more soymilk (which was Devin’s favorite milk here). Things were feeling pretty bleak, and Devin definitely went through a period of mourning.

But three weeks in, we’re getting used to it. I think in my case, one of the advantages of my ADHD-autism combo is that the present seems permanent. That is, whatever conditions I’m living in feel like it’s always been this way. I already can’t remember a lot of what we used to eat. I made a list of foods I can still cook, which is actually most of what I used to cook anyway, but without the tofu.

The main loss we are feeling now is not so much in my home cooking, but in going out to eat or even to a coffee shop. No more gluten-free cheesecake from Dochko’s. No more gelato. No more lattes or milk tea with boba. There are still fruit teas at the boba places and coffee shops, and those are quite good. But Devin’s beloved green tea lattes now have to be home-made with substituted ingredients. I think we can still eat the cabbage soup at the Chinese restaurant that Devin discovered with friends last year. We’re not sure about the soy and dairy-free options at the vegan restaurants. The dal at our favorite Indian restaurant, Namaste, might be safe, but we’ll need to find out. We didn’t eat out much anyway, but this really limits our options. I’m also not sure about traveling within Mongolia, unless we bring all our food with us.

At home, I’ve increased my cooking repertoire with what are going to end up being staple recipes, including some Thai rice noodle dishes and Korean rice cakes. We also got on a poke bowl kick over the summer that we’re continuing here. I found some plant-based soy-free protein powders that Devin can make smoothies with for breakfast or an afternoon snack, and that’s been working out. And, to ensure our survival, I made a rotating meal plan for each week during the semester. I still have to stock up on the freezer leftovers; so far there’s just a batch of dal and some rice; Devin just finished the last of the frozen chili for their school lunch. But every time I cook something for the next couple of weeks, I’ll put a container of it in the freezer, so later in the semester when I’m totally exhausted, we’ll still be able to eat.

And, in a classic Mongolian ask-and-you-shall-receive moment, I discovered a newish organic food store about a 10-minute walk from our apartment that is a veritable wonderland. Xotol Organic Market in the Ikh Mongol Plaza has a range of gluten-free options that are also dairy and soy free. Rice milk that Devin likes (except in their latte, which they prefer with almond milk from our local Korean superstore, Emart). A whole selection of Bob’s Red Mill gluten free flours and oatmeal. Field Day Organic gluten-free pastas that don’t have any soy ingredients. And, miraculously, Yum Earth allergen free chocolate. The food is also, unfortunately, at US prices or higher (the Yum Earth chocolate is 25,000 MNT or USD 7.50 for a 2.5 oz. box). But for our baking needs and the occasional treat, it’s totally worth it.

Devin also got into salads a lot more over the summer. We always ate a lot of broccoli (plentiful here), and often had fresh cucumber and bell peppers with our meals, but it hasn’t always been easy to get fresh lettuce year-round. We’re eating as much as we can now while it’s available, and mixing up whatever lettuce there is with fresh spinach. Unfortunately, the guy who sold vegetables out of his van right in front of our apartment building last summer and fall didn’t return this year, and I haven’t seen very many other such options except for the produce stands on the streets that I don’t pass by very often (they are mainly near MIU and downtown). For most of our produce, I go to the local Emart (the aforementioned Korean superstore) or to the Good Price Market in the basement of the Shangri-La Mall. There is a Bananas produce store near our apartment, and some of the newer supermarkets in King Tower next to Marshall Town (where we live) have good fruit and vegetable selections. Devin still won’t eat tomatoes except as pasta sauce, but they enjoy a wide variety of other vegetables. So we are not malnourished.

Devin’s doctor in San Diego also thought the dairy and soy restrictions could be temporary. We’re going to be really strict for three months, and then try some soy and see what happens. Devin can’t really tell if they are feeling better yet with the new diet, but we’re checking in once a week to try to figure it out. Their issues with interoception make it hard for them to figure out how they are feeling or remember how they used to feel last week or last month, for example. They think their abdominal pain has gotten better, but they still have a considerable amount of other pain. We’re hopeful, though, that things will improve a bit. Basically because we kind of have to be.

One thing I’ve been impressed with is how seriously Devin is taking it, and how willing they are to adapt. Last spring, we were joking that when we saw the doctor this summer, he was going to tell us that Devin had to go off dairy. Yeah, funny. Devin’s response to the joke was, “I will never give up mac and cheese or chocolate!” And now, of course, they have. We may try the small supply of gluten-free mac and cheese we brought from the US as part of our traditional Thanksgiving meal (mac and cheese, broccoli, and mashed potatoes) and see how it goes. But in the meanwhile, Devin has an incredible ability to take things in stride that is making this whole process much easier. Of course, it is their body and their pain—I’m just along for the ride, and I haven’t felt any difference for myself, but they appreciate my moral support. And when I fall down on the job (like forgetting to have rice ready to pack for their lunch today), they are a lot more understanding. This is likely our last year in Mongolia, so it feels like we’ll be able to manage this part of the experience, anyway.